It’s only a month ago (07/09) that I had to decide for Terra to stop the agony, suffering without any expectation of recovery. Now I’m facing the same terrible decision for Raaki! 13-and-a-half years of shared compassion and love, abruptly broken by human mind. I call it my ‘responsibility’, but only because I’m not aware of a word with even deeper meaning…. I made up my mind last Monday, after several weeks of Raaki’s suffering. Just like Terra, she too has sustained health problems due to her age.

To me, this ‘responsibility’ is an extreme dilemma. The live and wellbeing of Terra and Raaki have always been my most important goal. At the moment where they stepped into my life, life changed and has been molded to meet that goal. It was never a sacrifice, only a blessing. And now, I feel obliged to decide for euthanasia for the same sake of wellbeing!?

It’s not horrible, only because I know this is the right way.

In this ordeal, I have been very fortunate. I have found a new, bright, supportive mind with whom I can share these difficult events. But it seems that our connection goes way beyond! Last Tuesday, she met at our place and I was able to introduce her in real life to Raaki, subject in many of my stories! Our connection has grown over past weeks to a level where it grew very important to me to make this possible. It’s probably a psychological importance to myself, but then again: is this a promise to new opportunities????

That will be a whole different story! I will save that for a next time..

Blink

Categories: Animals